Download A Little Fruitcake: A Childhood in Holidays by David Valdes Greenwood PDF

By David Valdes Greenwood

Ah, the candy stories of Christmas. presents lower than the tree. Cookies for Santa. And, after all, the once a year fruitcake.

For younger David Valdes Greenwood, the indomitable “little fruitcake” on the heart of those stories, not anything is sweeter than the promise of the vacations. A modern day Tiny Tim, he holds speedy to his perfect of what Christmas should still be, regardless of the large odds opposed to him: Sub-zero Maine winters. a bunch of eccentric family members. And his consistent foil: a frugal, God-fearing Grammy who turns out decided to carry an finish to all his enjoyable. A e-book that’s “fa-la-la-licious” (Louisville Courier Journal) and choked with humorous, captivating yule thoughts (from construction a Lego® manger to looking for the precise Christmas tree), A Little Fruitcake will motivate even the largest Grinches round.

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Extra info for A Little Fruitcake: A Childhood in Holidays

Sample text

If you’ve been in full-time employment since you were 21, you will have so far spent over six years of your life at work – if you’ve spent an hour and a half each day getting to and from work that’s another entire year gone. 37 If you have spent a modest average of £20 a week on alcohol since your eighteenth birthday this would mean that to date you have wasted almost £23,000 giving yourself hangovers. If you’ve spent an equally modest eight hours a week in the pub (which would be pretty good going if you only ever spend twenty quid, you skinflint) that would represent an entire year of your life spent in the pub.

33 ‘OK, kids. ’ 35 STATISTICALLY SPEAKING If you’re 40 you have lived around 14,610 days or 2,087 weeks. 5 years of your life just lying there snoring and dribbling. 75 years of your entire life spent plonked in front of the box. If you’ve been in full-time employment since you were 21, you will have so far spent over six years of your life at work – if you’ve spent an hour and a half each day getting to and from work that’s another entire year gone. 37 If you have spent a modest average of £20 a week on alcohol since your eighteenth birthday this would mean that to date you have wasted almost £23,000 giving yourself hangovers.

THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO DO AGAIN Sleep in a muddy field at Glastonbury Stay up all night at a party Pretend to like tequila slammers Know who the latest hot bands are Pretend to get high on a joint made out of Earl Grey tea and bran flakes 63 Eat the hottest curry in the restaurant – with extra chillies 64 BOO!

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